Andy Ostroy Gets Major Scoop: Jesus Disses Rick Perry Prayer Rally

Texas Governor Rick Perry praying for the cameras

It looks like political analyst Andy Ostroy got his Main Chance, the big scoop, the interview of a lifetime.

At last week’s prayer rally in Houston, ironically named “The Response,” Texas Governor Rick Perry spoke publicly to God and got…no response. Not a murmur, not a whisper, not even a slight gust of wind or a tremor in Reliant Stadium, where the rally was held. Speculation was rife among the Born-Again that God was not in fact present at the rally, and scriptural literalists claimed this might have been because Jesus preached against public displays of piety, especially public prayers.

We now have confirmation that none of the heavenly family were present at the event. Andy Ostroy landed an interview with Jesus and transcribed the entire conversation. Here is the reference to the prayer rally:

Ostroy: What about Rick Perry’s ‘prayer rally’ in Texas on Saturday? He was talking to you. Told you “you are our only hope.” Were you listening to him? Did you say anything back?

Jesus: First off, let me say neither I or anyone in my family was at that event. That’s not my kind of prayer rally. As for me being the only hope, that’s quite sad. Perhaps Mr. Perry would be better served to look in the mirror and judge his own narrow-minded, divisive behavior. How he and his conservative brethren prey on the weak, the meek, the needy. Remember Proverbs 14:31…He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.

Aha! Just as we suspected…

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